


Ocean Waves

by howlingsaturn



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, OR five times they wanted to kiss each other but didn't and the one time they finally did., Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23133400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howlingsaturn/pseuds/howlingsaturn
Summary: one touch at a time, they fall in love.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 32
Kudos: 276





	Ocean Waves

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be 100% fluff but wbk that's impossible for me so there's like 10% angst in there. at least i tried right? 
> 
> trigger warning: mentions of car accidents and death.
> 
> take care of yourselves. xx

* * *

this morning

i watched the flowers blossom

and i thought to myself

this is what i wanna do too

— growth

* * *

**ONE**

"I'm thinking we make a pretty good team" 

"We really do, don't we?" 

TK reaches for Carlos' hand in an act of courage, pulling it close against his stomach. When he looks over Carlos is already staring at him, the hint of a smile on his lips and his eyes flickering across his face in a mixture of surprise and amazement.

He doesn't pull away though and TK takes that as a win, stomach fluttering like crazy. It's one hand clasped into another, far from their first touch but still it feels different, _raw._ It's so unlike what they're used to, what they've shared before, and TK can't help but feel like it's a new beginning, a new kind of feeling. 

He hasn't experienced something like this in quite a while, even though it's barely even been a year since Alex dumped him and his dad forced him to move to Austin. But even when he first got together with Alex, everything new and exciting, it didn't really feel the same way it does right now with Carlos.

TK loses himself in Carlos' eyes for a moment and then it hits him. No one has ever looked at him the way Carlos does. He can't quite grasp what it is, there's so much that Carlos lies bare with just one look, and it frightened TK at first, the sincerity and honesty in his eyes a little maddening.

But TK understands now that this is who Carlos is. He carries his heart on his sleeve, or more likely _in his eyes_ , and he doesn't shy away from it. TK envies him for it, opening up to people has alway been hard for him and so he tends to hide what he truly feels. But Carlos seems to be able to read right through him ever since TK told him about his addiction and break up. They've had some heart to hearts, sure, but it shouldn't be that easy for him considering they barely know each other. 

Looking at him from the corner of his eye, his hand clutched into his own, TK finds that he doesn't really mind. He wants to do better, wants to _be_ better, and something about the way Carlos' shoulder is pressed into his own and his thumb is rubbing odd patterns into his skin, makes taking the leap a little easier. He's ready now.

  
  


**TWO**

"Hey," Carlos says as pulls at the hand he's still holding in his own, silently asking TK to turn back around, "You sure you're gonna be okay?" 

TK smiles. Like the gentleman Carlos is, he's taken TK back home before midnight, no innuendoes, no offers to stay the night with him, and TK's immensely grateful for it. He's made enough choices today and he knows that if Carlos had asked, TK would've jumped straight in and gone would be the promises of taking things one step at a time.

Carlos isn't that type of guy though, he's kind, patient and considerate, and TK can't help but wonder what he did in another life to deserve someone this good. 

He can't dwell on it further though as Carlos gently squeezes his hand, bringing his focus back to him. He raises a brow as if he knows what TK was thinking and TK blushes despite himself. 

"Yes," he finally answers Carlos' question, "I'm sure." 

"If you need anything just call me--"

"You have work."

"So?" Carlos looks at him with such conviction, TK feels his heart double in size. He doesn't doubt for a second that Carlos would drop everything to be with TK if that's what he needed.

TK shakes his head a little and pulls Carlos close until they're only a breath apart. He reaches for the hand that isn't already in his own and laces their fingers together, eyes flicking across Carlos' face. He watches as Carlos mirrors him, his eyes dropping to his lips for a second before going back up. TK's smile widens and Carlos knows he's been caught, rolling his eyes on a sigh. 

"Thank you," TK whispers into the space between them, smile never faltering. 

"For what?" Carlos asks and licks his lips unconsciously. TK is momentarily distracted. 

"Tonight," he says when he finds his focus again, "For everything, really." 

Carlos smiles at him and squeezes his hands. 

"Anytime," he says and TK knows he means it. 

He looks at him like he's done most of the night but he finds he can't stop taking him in, memorising every little feature that makes him _him_. Carlos seems to share the sentiment though so TK doesn't have it in him to scold himself for acting like a teenager. 

"I should probably go," he murmurs eventually, regret evident in his voice but Carlos only nods. 

"Get some sleep tiger," he mocks and it makes TK laugh.

"I'll text you," TK says and he blames what he does next on the trauma he's been through lately. He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to Carlos' cheek. He lingers for a second, long enough to feel Carlos' surprised exhale, and then he turns away, stepping out of Carlos' space and letting go of his hands. Carlos watches him leave and as he presses a cool palm against his heated cheek, he feels oddly giddy. 

TK turns back around when he reaches the door, key in lock, and Carlos drops his hand like he's burned himself. If TK knows what Carlos did, he doesn't show it, only shoots him a wink and calling out a final goodbye. 

"Goodnight," Carlos echoes and then TK's gone. The door falls shut behind him but his presence lingers, in Carlos' hands, his face and his heart. 

**THREE**

TK blinks his eyes open slowly, being woken by a feather light touch on his face, and when Carlos' face comes into focus his smile is immediate. 

"Morning," he grumbles, his voice still rough from sleep and his eyes falling shut again. 

"Good morning to you too, sleepyhead" Carlos says and he sounds far too awake for TK's liking. 

"Why are you in front of my bed and not in it?"

A startled laugh reaches TK's ears and he blinks again, the desire to see Carlos greater than his need for sleep. Carlos waits for him patiently, stroking a gentle hand through his hair.

"I need to get to work," he responds just as softly when TK's eyes are clear. He's met with a pout and Carlos wants nothing more than to kiss it away but he holds himself off, they had promised each other to go slow after all. 

"I was meant to leave last night," Carlos scolds him half-heartedly, "but _someone_ wouldn't let go of me in his sleep." 

TK hides a grin, scooting down the bed to hide beneath the blanket. He's a little embarrassed, to be honest, he knows he's a cuddler and while there's nothing wrong with that per se, it feels like it's too soon, _too much_. His previous partners have been annoyed by it more often than not but it's like TK can't help himself. He just craves intimacy.

"Hey," Carlos whispers, pulling at the blanket beneath TK's nose. "It was the best sleep I've had in a long while," he says as if he's just read TK's mind and TK is again struck by how quickly he's falling for him. 

"Really?" He asks, still a little doubtful and Carlos smiles. 

"Really," he reassures him and there's so much sincerity in his voice that TK believes him. He gives him a lopsided smile and Carlos shakes his head in amusement. 

"What?" 

Carlos sighs, tugging a stray hair out of TK's face. "You're making it really hard for me not to kiss you, y'know." 

"Carlos…"

"I know," he soothes but his eyes are a little regretful, "I know." 

"You could come back to bed though," TK offers with his heart in his throat and the smile is back on Carlos' face. 

"I wish I could," he sighs, "I'm already gonna be late." 

TK bites his lips, chest aching, and reaches for Carlos' arm. "Let me know when you get off alright?" 

"Will do," Carlos says and leans forward, kissing TK's forehead. He lingers and TK breathes him in, closing his eyes with a longing sigh. He wants nothing more than to pull him close and never let him go again but he can't, _not yet_ , maybe not ever. 

Carlos is a police officer after all. He's in danger every time he straps his gun to his hip and walks out of his home and it's only been a few weeks but TK's not sure he will ever get used to that feeling of terror. His heart constricting in his chest, TK exhales and when he opens his eyes again, Carlos is gone. 

  
  


**FOUR**

"We need to celebrate," Mateo argues excitedly after TK told them he was good to come back on Monday. 

"I agree," Paul says with a wide smile on his face, "It's Friday after all and I could really use a break." 

The rest agrees pretty easily and so they end up in their favourite bar a couple of hours later. They've already line danced there once and the team has only gotten one round of drinks before they're off to the dance floor. TK watches them from afar, contentedly sipping his mineral water. He feels giddy somehow, happier than he's been in probably years.

There's only one person missing to make this night perfect and as he thinks about Carlos' smile and his kind eyes, someone creeps up behind him, laying a gentle hand on TK's lower back. TK flinches for a second, but the warm breath that tickles his neck makes him relax immediately. He knows it's Carlos before he's even turned out and the smile on his lips widen. 

"Hey tiger," Carlos murmurs into his ear before he draws back, giving TK enough room to properly turn towards him. 

"Hi yourself," TK says as their eyes finally meet and he feels like an invisible weight is dropped off of his shoulder. Carlos' smile is blinding as he drops a kiss to his cheek and TK presses into the hand that is still resting on his back. 

"Wanna dance?" TK asks with a raised brow and Carlos' smile turns smug. 

"I thought you'd never ask," he licks his lips and reaches for TK's hand, immediately pulling him into the mass of people. They dance with the others until the music changes and Carlos pulls him close mid spin. TK collides with his chest rather forcefully and it startles out a laugh, feet tripping. 

"Man, you used to be smoother than that," TK jokes and resonates in the laugh that is breathed against his ear. Carlos doesn't respond, just winds his arms around TK's body and nuzzles his face into his neck. They sway aimlessly for a while and TK catches his dad's eye from afar, a knowing smirk on his lips. He huffs out a laugh and turns his attention back to Carlos, squeezing his wrist to get his attention. 

"You're very cuddly tonight," he observes and Carlos' answering laugh tickles his skin. 

"I've been awake for over 24 hours," Carlos explains, "Holding you close means holding myself up."

"Oh, so I'm just a means to an end huh?" TK jokes and Carlos' arms curl tighter around his stomach. 

"Obviously," he mocks and TK throws his head back in a laugh. Carlos waits until he's calmed and loosens his hold, gripping his hips and turning him around. 

"Hi," he whispers, eyes scanning TK's face. 

"Hi," TK's voice is just as breathless, smile still present.

Carlos drops his forehead against TK's and closes his eyes, his body barely moving to the music anymore. Goosebumps rise on TK's skin and he wraps his arms loosely around Carlos' neck. There's a fire everywhere that they touch and TK has to force himself to take a couple of deep breaths lest he forgets where they are. Caged in the warmth of Carlos' arms, TK has never felt this safe, never felt so at ease with himself and his life. 

"C'mon," he says, when he fears Carlos has fallen asleep on the spot, "let's get you home."

They say their goodbyes quickly and Carlos stays close the whole time, one hand apparently glued to TK's lower back. He doesn't make any innuendoes when TK reaches into his jeans pocket for his keys and TK realises then how exhausted he truly is. Carlos is fast asleep in the passenger seat before TK can even turn the engine on and it makes him smile.

He gently shakes Carlos awake when he's parked the car in front of Carlos' home, helping him out. TK didn't know Carlos was gonna be that much of a teddy bear when he's running on little sleep but TK finds he doesn't really mind. It's kinda nice actually, having someone to take care of. And Carlos is quite easy to handle too, with an arm slung over his shoulder, TK gets Carlos up the stairs and onto the bed without much difficulty. 

"Y'gonna stay?" Carlos asks once he's lying flat eagle on the bed and TK's eyes find Carlos' closed ones in surprise. He thinks it over, debating whether it's the right choice but before he can make up his mind Carlos has reached for his wrist, preventing him from moving away. 

"Stay, please," Carlos says and the fact that his eyes stay shut makes TK laugh a little. He's so endearing, TK feels like his heart is about to burst. 

"Okay big guy," he agrees, ridding himself of his shoes and jacket and lying down next to him. Carlos moves immediately, wrapping his arm around TK's middle and pressing close. TK can't help the smile that spreads over his face. He shuffles close, making himself comfortable, and cocooned in the warmth of Carlos' arms, he's fast asleep in a minute. 

  
  


**FIVE**

It's been a long day and TK is already struggling with the ache in his bones when they're send to what is probably the last call of his shift. It doesn't sound good and when they arrive at the scene it's worse than he had imagined. Carlos is there too, the police is doing damage control mostly, helping out where needed and TK doesn't even have the time to check on him, let alone look at him for longer than a second. 

They lose a handful of people that night and TK knows the coldness that seeps into in his body isn't going away any time soon. His stomach twisting, TK sweeps tired eyes over the scene but Carlos is nowhere to be seen. He tries not to worry but the amount of grief and tragedy he's seen today doesn't make it easy. He's about to take out his phone and just call him when Michelle calls out for him. He turns and finds her standing a few feet apart, waving him over. 

"He's over there," she says in lieu of greeting and points to a car wreckage on the far end of the street. She looks exhausted but TK can't spare words of encouragement any more and so he only sends her a gentle smile before he jogs to where she's pointed. He rounds the wreckage and finds Carlos sitting on the sidewalk, propped up against what's left of the car. His clothes are soaked and TK's heart skips painfully. He makes his way over slowly, softly calling out Carlos' name but there's no response. 

He drops to his knees in front of him, reaching out a hand to clasp Carlos' trembling ones in his as he calls out again.

When Carlos lifts his head, TK's breath catches in his throat. There's a storm in his eyes but the tears don't fall, he doesn't have any left. 

"I couldn't save them," he says and when his voice breaks, TK feels his heart shatter right with it. 

"I know," TK murmurs and squeezes his hands, "Let's go home. We need to go home." 

Carlos lets himself be pulled to his feet and TK wraps an arm around his waist to steady him. He presses a quick kiss to his temple and then he guides him to the firetruck. The moments after that are spend in silence. Not knowing what to say drives TK mad but there's nothing he can do, nothing he can say that was going to make it better. He's lost a fair amount of people on the job but it never gets any easier. Never.

An hour later Carlos is standing under the shower, bracing himself against the tiles as he lets the water hit his skin. It does nothing to warm him up though, he's still shivering and TK watches his motionless figure helplessly. He's about to turn away and give him a few minutes to himself when Carlos calls out for him.

His voice is small and quiet, the crashing of water against the tiles almost drowns it out, but TK thinks he'd hear him anywhere. His hand drops from the doorknob and he turns back around. He takes one look at Carlos' defeated face, eyes wide with tears, and then he's moving, slipping under the shower fully clothed. He presses close to him but leaves him space to breathe, enough space to move away if he wanted. He doesn't have to wait long. Carlos chokes out a desperate plea of his name and TK wraps his arms around him immediately, pulling him flush against his chest. He buries his face into his neck, pressing gentle kisses into the skin there and he holds him until the storm passes. Carlos trembles in his arms, knees giving out beneath him but TK keeps him standing, his strong embrace never faltering. 

Tears well in his eyes as he watches Carlos fall apart in his arms. He realises then that this is much worse than heartbreak. This is a tsunami breaking through his walls, leaving him drowning and choking and there's nothing he can do to make it stop. He squeezes Carlos tighter until he's not sure who holds up who anymore but it doesn't really matter. With his heart in his throat TK realises that this is what love feels like. It's the feeling of utter helplessness at the thought of Carlos in pain, the frantic desperation of not being able to take it away and make him whole again. It is heartbreak, TK thinks, but it's the kind that makes love even stronger. With an absolute clarity, TK knows that he'd do anything to not have Carlos experience something like that ever again.

The words lie on the tip of his tongue, throat constricting with the need to get them out, to let Carlos know how he feels but this isn't the right time. Kissing the back of Carlos' neck, TK locks them into the safety of his heart. He turns Carlos around and pulls him into his chest, tugging his head beneath his chin and softly stroking through his hair. Carlos clings to the back of his soaked shirt, holding on to him like TK's his lifeline and he's seconds away from being dragged into the depths of the ocean. TK soothes him sweetly, never once loosening his strong hold on him. He will not let Carlos drown. 

  
  


**SIX**

They've been going back and forth for a while now and Carlos still doesn't know what they are. They've been dating for weeks but they haven't put a label on it, hell, they haven't even kissed since they silently agreed on taking things slow. Carlos craves TK's touch though, longs to wrap him in his arms and kiss him senseless. But Carlos promised to be patient and he knows he'd wait a hundred years for TK to be ready. He knows that TK is worth it and it's not like he doesn't get any rewards, TK gives plenty.

It's the gratitude in his eyes when he looks at Carlos, it's in the sweet smiles and soft gestures. They touch a lot actually, ever since Carlos had that breakdown in the shower TK has made sure he stays close, only ever an arm length away. And Carlos loves having him near and being able to pull him into a hug whenever he feels like it. It's like they've gotten to know each other through this proximity, learning the other's body language by touch and observation. It's intimate in every way but sexual and he's enjoyed every second of it. 

Sometimes though, there's a tension between them that Carlos doesn't know how to avoid. It's like they're laughing one second and the next they're just staring at each other. It's confusing and Carlos has wanted to bring it up a couple of times but he just doesn't know how to address it. Carlos scowls into his fruit bowl for another minute before his colleague taps him on the shoulder, telling him they need to go. 

When he arrives at the scene the 126 is already there, putting out the fire. There are a few people arguing at the side and Carlos and his colleagues make their way over, trying to dispute the situation.

TK catches his eye for a second and sends him a little smile before he's focusing back on the burning building in front of him. All the residents have been rescued and the fire seems to lose height so it's all good. TK can't wait to get home, curl up next to Carlos and watch some stupid teenage drama. He goes through a movie list in his head, grinning to himself, when he's distracted by loud yelling. 

"Officer down!" A policeman calls out and TK's head turns so quickly that the environment blurs around the edges. He blinks a few times, scanning through the crowd but Carlos is nowhere to be seen. There are people on the ground and even more gathered around them, shouting and pulling, and TK's throat constricts painfully. He takes a couple of steps forward but Judd holds him off, clutching his arm to pull him back. 

"Don't even think about it," he says and TK struggles in his hold. 

"But Carlos--" 

"This ain't your job, kid. Let them handle it," he points to the cars that have just arrived and TK watches anxiously as more policemen hurry towards the scene. It's over quickly after that and Michelle finally has room to inspect the two officers on the ground. 

TK exhales a breath of release as he spots Carlos kneeling next to a colleague, pressing down on what TK assumes is a stab wound on the guy's thigh. He seems to be okay though as he looks at Michelle with focused eyes and follows her instructions. TK's too far away to hear them but he can make out Carlos' frown perfectly. He sees the tightness in his back and jaw as he's pushed to the side and the paramedics take over. He steps aside, hands flexing against his side and when he tears his gaze away from Michelle and his colleague, he finds TK's wide eyes immediately. 

TK huffs out a breath, his chest aching, and then he moves forward, closing the remaining distance between them in a few wide strides. Carlos meets him halfway, opening his arms as TK crashes into him and momentarily throws them off balance. 

"Easy tiger," Carlos chokes on a laugh but he squeezes him back just as tightly. 

"I thought you--" TK starts breathlessly and pulls back, eyes roaming over Carlos' face as if he's scanning him for injuries and his hands soon follow its path. 

"I'm fine," Carlos reassures, reaching for TK's wrists to soothe him, "I promise I'm o--" 

He doesn't have time to finish his sentence as TK surges forward, pressing his trembling lips to Carlos' own. Carlos is taken aback for a second but his mind quickly catches on and he kisses TK back before he knows it. It's messy and desperate but Carlos can't find it in him to care so he simply wraps his arms around TK's back and pulls him closer. TK sighs against his mouth, pulling back just enough to take a breath, his lips brushing against Carlos' as he speaks. 

"I wanted to do that for so long," he confesses and then he's kissing him again, curling his tongue against the seam of Carlos' lips and Carlos' heart stutters in his chest. He knows he's barely kissing him back at this point, lips splitting into a huge grin, and TK huffs in annoyance, resting his forehead against Carlos' with a smile of his own. 

"Damn if that's what it takes to get you going I would've done that sooner," Carlos jokes and TK promptly shoves against his chest, raising an eyebrow threateningly. 

"Don't you dare!" He growls and Carlos kisses him for the serious frown on his face. He pulls back quickly though, reaching out to cup TK's cheek. 

"I'm good though, honestly," and he's rewarded with the most blinding smile. 

"Me too," TK's says, his heart beating wildly in his chest and the grin Carlos' gives him makes him feel warm all over. They ignore the wolf whistles as long as they can but at one point they are forced to separate and get back to work. 

"See you after shift?" TK asks, colour high on his cheek, and Carlos feels giddy with it all. 

"I'll pick you up," he says with a grin, taking a few steps back to put some distance between them. TK nods and squeezes the hand that's still clutched in his, mirroring Carlos' movements and slowly walking backwards until the distance becomes too wide to hold hands any longer. He turns away with a regretful smile, rolling his eyes at the team when they throw smirks and inappropriate gestures his way. He doesn't stop smiling for the rest of his shift though.

The station is quiet at this hour and after having taken a thorough shower, TK sits down on one of the benches between the firetrucks, idly stroking through Buttercup's soft fur. When he hears a car approaching, TK can't help the fluttering in his gut. Goosebumps rise on his skin when he takes Carlos in and for the millionth time TK wonders how he got so lucky. He rises from his seat and greets him halfway, pulling him into a hug. Carlos sighs against the side of his neck, pressing a tender kiss there before he pulls back. 

"Ready to go?" 

"No," TK says, eyes shining with mischief. 

"No?" Carlos raises a brow in confusion but TK sees the way his lips twitch into a smile. TK grins at him and pulls him close by the lapels of his jacket. He kisses him softly, slowly, and when he pulls back Carlos' eyes are still closed.

"Now I'm ready." 

Carlos laughs, wrapping an arm around his shoulder to keep him close as they walk to his car. He opens the passenger door and waits until TK has walked around before he leans over and kisses him once more. TK licks his lips as he sits down and oddly feels like he's a teenager again. He's excited and a little nervous, his stomach fluttering with a thousand butterflies and he can barely turn his eyes away for more than a second. Carlos shoots him a wink and starts the engine. They drive in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Carlos reaches over and interlocks their fingers. 

"You want me to drop you off at yours?" He asks, quickly glancing over. 

TK looks at him and shakes his head, squeezing his hand, and Carlos breaks out into a smile. TK turns to watch out of the window, leaning against the cool glass and letting his mind wander. He never thought he'd get to have this again. When he moved to Austin he thought he was gonna hate it but the 126 and the people here have become home to him. He's surprised to find he doesn't miss New York at all. 

When Carlos pulls into the driveway, he squeezes TK's hand once before shutting off the engine and climbing out of the car. TK mirrors him, walking around the car and reaching for Carlos' hand when he's close enough. They share a private smile and walk close enough so that their shoulders brush with every step. When Carlos closes the door behind them, TK feels strung tight, an odd fluttering in his chest. TK turns to look at Carlos and finds the same kind of nervous excitement in his eyes and that's enough for the tension to snap. 

TK stumbles into his chest, grabbing at his shirt, and Carlos is ready to meet him. They clash together in a mess of hands and lips and TK feels dizzy with it all. They navigate around the room, never once breaking apart until Carlos' knees hit the edge of the couch and he loses his balance, pulling TK right on top of him in. They laugh against each other's mouth and the fluttering in TK's stomach doubles in size. He just can't stop grinning.

He shifts on Carlos' lap and breaks the kiss in another laugh when he realises where they ended up. 

"Really, Carlos?" he says in faux exasperation, "The couch? Again?"

And Carlos glances to the sides, grinning. He shrugs and pulls TK close again, kissing the smile right off of his lips. He fumbles with the buttons on TK's shirt, baring his neck and collarbone, and his lips press against the revealed patch of skin immediately. TK clutches at his shoulders, hands fisted into his shirt, and when Carlos finds a sensitive spot behind TK's ear, he can't help but let out a startled moan. It stops Carlos in his tracks and TK's shirt falls open aimlessly. Carlos pulls away to search his face and TK frowns at him, clearly confused as to why Carlos stopped. 

"You okay?" He asks, reaching out a hand to tug a stray curl away from his forehead.

"Yeah I just--" Carlos tries and bites his lips, eyes flickering to somewhere behind TK's head. 

"Hey," TK calls out, stroking his hand down to Carlos' jaw, "Don't-- do you not want this?" 

Carlos eyes flick back to his and his heart aches at the doubt and insecurity he finds there.

"What? _No_ ," Carlos immediately says, eyes wide with horror, "I mean yes, of course I want this." 

TK raises his brows in a smile, his face dropping down to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. His lips trail lower then, down to Carlos' jaw and then his neck and TK can feel him exhaling shakily. 

"Tyler," Carlos calls out, his voice rough and breathless, and TK's heart skips another beat, "Are you sure _you_ want this?" 

TK sits back to look at him and there's so much kindness and understanding in Carlos' eyes that TK can't help but brush his thumb over his bottom lip, staring at him in pure admiration. He knows without a doubt that Carlos would get up and drive him home immediately if he asked to. He would not force TK out of his comfort zone or ask something of him that TK is not ready to give. 

He shakes his head with a loving smile and Carlos' features soften. 

"Carlos," he says in a way that makes goosebumps rise on Carlos' skin and he tries to suppress a shiver, closing his eyes on an exhale.

"You're one of the few things that I'm sure of," TK murmurs, his thumb moving as he watches Carlos' lips curl into a smile. "So yes, I want this. I want _you._ " 

"You have me," Carlos breathes against his lips, "Everyday, all day," and then he's kissing him again, stealing the oxygen right from his lungs and TK doesn't mind one bit. He'd gladly open his chest and leave his heart bare, there's not an ounce of doubt in his mind that Carlos won't protect it with everything he has. Right here in Carlos' gentle hands it's exactly where it belongs.

When Carlos pushes TK's shirt over his shoulders, he attaches his lips back to TK's neck and TK groans softly, tilting his head a little to give Carlos better access. His fingers find their way to the back of Carlos' neck instinctively, curling into his hair and tugging at the strands. Carlos seems to get the message as he trails lower, following the path his fingers took before. He comes to a sudden stop at TK's chest, his thumb brushing against the pink scar there. Carlos can't take his eyes away, throat constricting. He takes a trembling breath in and thinks about how close he was to losing him. 

He's pulled out of his head when TK tugs gently at his hair, coaxing him to look up. 

"I'm okay," TK says when he finds Carlos' eyes on him, "I'm with you." And Carlos smiles, shaking his head a little. There's no use dwelling on what could have happened when TK is right here in his arms, warm and happy and so goddamn _alive._ Carlos drops his eyes back down, staring at the thick scar for another second before he dips down and presses a gentle kiss against the tender skin there. He feels TK suck in a breath, his fingers twitching against the back of Carlos' neck and it makes Carlos smile. 

It's not a symbol of death, Carlos' thinks as he slowly strokes his thumb over the scar, _it's a symbol of life._ It's proof that TK is a fighter and a hero and Carlos would never wish it away. It's a part of TK now, as beautiful as everything else about him. So he presses more kisses there, careful of the still healing skin and not aware that TK goes a little crazy with it. 

TK pulls at his hair again, stronger this time and when Carlos' raises his eyes to his, his heart drops into his stomach. 

"Carlos," he breathes and Carlos spreads his hand over his heart, hiding the scar underneath the safety of his palm. There's an ocean in TK's eyes, mirroring everything Carlos feels inside his chest and Carlos wants to drown in it. 

"I know," he whispers into the space beneath them, " _I know._ " 

And then TK is kissing him again, overwhelming and all consuming, and there's only one thing on his mind: three words, eight letters. They dance through TK's mind in a spectacle of colours and he breathes them into Carlos' mouth with each stroke of his tongue, spreading them everywhere his fingers touch so they're inked right beneath Carlos' skin. And Carlos gives it all back and then some more until TK feels it in every little movement of his muscles.

Falling in love with Carlos, TK thinks, is difficult to describe. It's every emotion all at once. It's the feeling of warm sand beneath your feet as you walk along the beach, the gentle sound of waves crashing against the shore a soothing melody in your ear. It's like the sunrise; bright and warm and hopeful but it's also sunset; passionate and powerful. It's like the gentlest of embrace, the most encouraging of words. It's a quiet mind, peaceful and content.

Lying here in Carlos' arms, the past has become only a tiny fraction of who he is now. It's right where it's supposed to be: in the past. And TK? He takes each day as it comes, one step at a time. And if he's honest, he's never been more excited about the future.


End file.
